New Year Intentions

Most people make New Year's Resolutions or goals every year. Many studies out there will say that most people quit or give up on those goals by February. 

When I was younger, I would make up some goal just to have one every year. I think those goals were things like color pictures for family members, learn to like coffee, take the dog for walks more, etc. As I got a little older, my goals became more serious about my health with plans to work out or eat better maybe be on my phone less. These goals never really stuck though. 

These last couple I've looked at New Year's Resolutions a little differently. I don't think making resolutions or goals for the year are bad, I'm just really bad at making and keeping them! So instead, the last couple years I made generalizations for how I wanted to live my life. 

I instead wanted to do less of certain things and more of others. It wasn't a strict policy or program I made for myself in which I would automatically feel guilty and then want to quit my goals altogether. I simply wanted to be more intentional about what I did with my time. I knew I didn't want to be on my phone as much or eat desserts every night of the week. I knew I didn't want to go three months and realize I never called or texted anyone in my family (besides my parents). I knew I wanted to be more intentional in my devotions, health, and truly taking advantage of my time with loved ones. 

As I reflect on the last year, I'd say I did okay with this intention! Finishing up school and moving to a new state definitely made me very busy and I didn't always do my best in working out or eating healthy. But I would say I didn't get down on myself for having the occasional indulgence either! I know I can do better in the "more" category. Talking to family is very important and now that school is practically over I don't have an excuse not to call my family more!  

Knowing that college is officially done in January, I am trying to be more intentional in making plans for myself. I do not to fill up my usual homework time with Netflix. I know I will have free time and I want to use that time more wisely. I want to fill that time with things I never had time for before like writing letters, calling family, playing board games, drinking tea, scrapbooking, working out, baking, and more. I always loved these things as kids and before college and the homework I could easily make time for them. 

I hope that in this next year I can joyfully participate in these activities and even learn new things like knitting, sewing, and trying new recipes! I hope that I can participate less in junk food, being ungrateful, absent-mindedly sitting on my phone, only half listening to conversations and more. Obviously, there will be a balance to my less/more philosophy! I can't be perfect all the time and sometimes I do just want to sit on the couch and do nothing, but I hope to fully take advantage of the life God has given me and explore more and fully appreciate all of life's blessings. 

It's a Wonderful Life

This year's Christmas was a little extra special

I am currently student teaching at a wonderful school where we can openly discuss and teach about the birth the Jesus. It felt great to be able to see my parents a week after graduation and spend more than two days with them over Christmas. Plus I was able to bring Josh home and we could share in some of my family's traditions! We spent time with family and relaxed (maybe too much!).

Let me share with you some of our family's traditions: 

• Movies: It's a Wonderful Life is watched every Christmas Eve. I watch White Christmas at least twice and sing along and can probably quote the whole thing. Mom normally has Christmas Carol on starting December 1st until the New Year. We always squeeze in [the old] Miracle on 34th Street. Josh's family always watches a Christmas Story, so I guess I need to fit that in now too!

• Presents: We always open presents on Christmas morning. Ever since I was little, I had to make a pact with my parents that I would not wake them up before 7. So basically every year, I wake up starting at 4 and then every hour until I think it's an acceptable time. To stretch out waking them up - I'll start the cinnamon rolls and coffee! **And yes even though I'm now 22 the same pact gets made every year and this Christmas Eve I got a total of 6 hours of sleep.** We always open our stockings after the dogs get to open their gifts. We open our stockings slowly and enjoy all the little treasures of candy, gift cards, soaps, and more. Then I get to play "Santa's elf" and pass out all the gifts under the tree to the people they belong to. And then it's basically a free for all to see who can make the biggest wrapping paper mess while Dad slowly reads each gift very carefully and tries to preserve the wrapping paper. While Dad continues to unwrap gifts, Mom and I are showing off what we got, getting a second cup of coffee, trying on our new clothes, playing with dogs and finally Dad finishes. 

• Christmas Day: Christmas Day is usually shared with my grandparents. We open presents in the morning and lounge in our pajamas for a few hours before finally deciding to clean up and go get them. We have plenty of appetizers out while mom gets the grandparents. Once they arrive they open their gifts while the dogs are so psyched to have more people over. Normally there are Christmas movies on or maybe a new movie someone opened. My sister may join us if she is in town and then there is a big family dinner complete with pie. And for added effect, we all just stay in our new pajamas and slippers for the whole day. 

• Christmas Eve: On Christmas Eve, we always attend our church's service. A few times we went to two services because both services are great, but then it slowly became just one. We have attended the early and late service and we equally love both. We always loved the late service because it was more intimate and quiet. We also love the early service because then we get to wish everyone a Merry Christmas! These church services are apart of who we are and we won't miss it!

What made this year extra special? 

At the beginning of this post, I already hinted at a few thing that made this year a little extra special and I want to tell you more about them. 

I didn't go home for Thanksgiving this year (which I was totally okay with!) but it is always different learning about another family's traditions. I love spending Christmas at home and so I was very thankful to share Christmas with my future husband and family. I loved getting to see my grandparents, visit with friends, see my nephews who are now taller than me and laugh with family. It was fun explaining and sharing what our traditions are and deciding what we want our future traditions to be. I'm glad I was able to spend more time with my parents considering I'll soon have a grown-up job and won't always get to come home! I got to feel like a kid again and enjoy Christmas like I always have. 

Christmas was also special this year because of the school I am currently student teaching at. As you know, I am going to school for Lutheran education and this placement is a Lutheran school. Watching my students and the whole school recites Luke 2 (the birth account of Jesus) brought tears to my eyes. They did a wonderful job at sharing the birth of Jesus. They were so excited to sing Christmas hymns and genuinely wanted to share the story of Jesus with others. I had many students tell me that they wanted to share the love and story of Jesus with their other friends, family, and neighbors. They were so excited for the Christmas season because they know that Jesus is born and He will (and did) save His people from their sins. There is nothing more powerful than understanding this message and see your students understand this message - and then actually want to share it with others! 

There's nothing quite like fully appreciating what God has done for you all over again and seeing others proclaiming the good news. There's nothing quite like sharing this joy with family while you spend time together. Christmas always holds a special place in my heart and I am so glad this year was a little extra special ❤ 

“Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. 11 Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. 12 This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.” Luke 2

It's Graduation Day

When I woke up it was almost like Christmas (which isn't too far around the corner!) when I realized that today it the today I get to walk across the stage. 

I graduated with two degrees in Early Childhood and Early Childhood Special Education with a specialization in Lutheran education. My program took 4 and 1/2 years and technically I have to finish up a couple more weeks of students teaching before the university will call it official! 

I wasn't sure how I'd feel going into graduation knowing I still had to "finish" up my program requirements. It didn't really hit me until the day before when my parents got on the road and I was excited to share the moment with so many people close to me. 

The day came and I was ready!! 

Because I am a Lutheran education major and I attended a Lutheran university, I attended baccalaureate. Only a handful of the people graduating attended this additional ceremony. I found myself tearing up through the whole thing as we all stood together singing, praying, and sharing where we will be heading next after graduation. I have not received an official call yet (which most December grads do not) but I was able to share that I will be staying at my current student teaching placement until June as a long-term substitute.

It was crazy when during the sermon, the pastor asked the graduates to stand and look at all the people behind them. These people included staff/faculty, parents, friends, and more. I could see my parents, fiance, and best friend. I almost broke down right there thinking about the support they (and everyone) gave and how far I've come in these last few years. 

Then it was time for the ceremony and I knew there'd be no tears. At this point, it was just excitement and I had already felt my emotional moment. I walked across the stage and it felt unreal. It was two seconds of glory but it felt wonderful.

I knew God gave me the strength to finish my years of schooling and as equipped and will continue to equip me for my future classroom. It was only because of Him that I was able to make it through school and follow His calling. 

Joy Journal: What would you do if you found/given $10?

I recently attended a special education teacher's conference. It felt amazing to be considered a teacher (even though I'm a week away from graduation) and be taken seriously as a real professional. There were many great ideas and it was awesome to share the experience with some fellow peers and colleagues.

In one of the breakout sessions, we discussed how to encourage students to write. The speaker talked about how important it is for you to write if you want and expect your students to write. I would not consider myself a writer, but sometimes I like to think that I'm super creative and could write a book. Occasionally, I will journal and write a few blog posts but generally, I'm not the person mapping out stories and character developments while at a coffee shop!

I really loved one idea the speaker shared. She discussed how important it is for students, especially young ones, to practice writing without feeling any pressure by getting to write about whatever they want and not getting graded or checking for grammar and spelling. She said as little as five minutes a day can improve students' ability to write and become writers. They are encouraged to write about whatever as long as they get it down. She called it their Joy Journal and we were able to practice our own writing and got a few minutes to write in our own journal. Below is what I thought while we were there!

Joy Journal 

Have you ever found $10 in your coat pocket or an old card that you totally forgot about? There have definitely been times where I came across an extra $10 or get gifted $10 in a holiday card from an unsuspecting person. My first reaction is joy and then maybe some embarrassment from the childish reaction. I immediately want to go shop and spend it all! I think of where I could go and what I could want. There are normally two options for me. I could either go to the dollar section at Target to get several items and get the biggest bang for my buck of going or go buy a new outfit that's a little more expensive. Then there's always a silent third option like going and getting gas for m car or saving it in hopes of getting another $1 unsuspectingly but we don't need to talk about that option. 

I love the feeling of getting a random $10. It's like being a kid again and mom saying I get to pick out one thing from the store. I budget (or at least try to) and this is $10 I don't have to account for. I don't need to feel guilty for spending $10 I didn't already have. I can go get something and treat myself. Maybe I can get something I already had my eye on or maybe get a treat from Starbucks. Maybe it'll be the one time I really needed to fill up my tank of gas and wasn't sure where the money would come from. Most likely I would go buy a book that I would never spend full-price on or go to Goodwill and get a handful of books! The opportunities are endless!

My question for you is: What would you do if you found or were given $10? 

I hope to continue the practice of joy journaling through my blog. It is fun to switch gears for a moment and write something a little less serious and also give you more of a glimpse into what I am like. I don't always need to document my life and sometimes it is fun thinking and writing about something without fear of judgment. Join me in the practice of joy journaling or by giving me ideas on what to write next! 

You're the Droid I've Been Looking for

I have mentioned my boyfriend in previous posts and I am excited to announce that we are officially

ENGAGED!

Let me tell you a little bit about Josh and our story

Josh: He is a few years older than me and is out of school. He has a full-time grown-up job with benefits and insurance. He is one of the biggest nerds I know loving Star Wars, Jurassic Park, and all things Marvel. He knows a ton of dinosaur names and random facts. Josh can even tell you some Latin names of animals if you go to the zoo with him. He is an uncle and loves his nephews. He will actually play with them and try to teach them ridiculous facts. There is a large family and he absolutely loves being and helping out with them. Josh loves Jesus and helps out at church all the time with teaching Sunday school, ushering, counting money, and more. 

I can honestly say that he is my best friend as well as my significant other. We can play board games one night, see a game another, shop all day, go for walks or workout together, take a day trip to Chicago, road trip together, worship together and more. I always wanted a guy who I could do everything with: sit at home, go on trips, spend time with family and friends, and serve God and others.

I have had a list of nonnegotiables for my future husband since freshmen year of college. It became exactly what I looked for in the guys that I dated. Sometimes I knew someone didn't meet something on my list but dated them anyway - and shocker that's exactly why things didn't work out later. When Josh and I met, I asked the hard questions to get down to it right away. We both took our first few dates seriously so see if we would be able to have a relationship. He met all of the things on my list and more. He met all of the things I dreamed about as a girl and talked about at sleepovers. 

Josh and I met in a very unexpected way. I normally go to bed incredibly early and one Friday night I could not sleep. It was almost midnight and my roommates were already asleep and I could tell I was going to be up for a while. For fun, I decided to make a profile on a dating app just for fun. I figured what could happen?! I'll talk to some people while I can't fall asleep and it'll keep be occupied through the weekend and then I can delete it - no big deal. 

Well, I made my profile and started talking to some guys. I saw Josh's profile picture and checked out his page. He ended up messaging me and we talked for a little bit! Out of all the guys, we actually held a real conversation. Come Monday, we were still talking and I looked forward to having notifications whenever I logged back into the site. A week goes by and I realized we were still talking! I hadn't really planned on that and I could tell something was different about him (and I hadn't talked to other guys using the app for a few days). I took the plunge and just gave him my number to make things easier. 

Eventually, Josh asked if we would ever be able to really meet out on a date. I didn't know what to say considering I was only planning to keep the app for a few days until I wasn't bored anymore. Did I really want to go on a date with someone that I met through an app? 

Josh was very gracious and said he would wait as long as necessary since I told him my worries. He had conversations over the phone and had a few video chats...so I definitely knew he was real! We ended up talking for about a month before we went on our first date! 

On our first date, we went out for coffee (in a very public place and I had a friend on call just in case!) and to talk. We talked until the coffee shop closed and then walked around the shopping district. We walked through the bookstore and had a great conversation. He was such a gentlemen in holding doors open for me and kindly holding my hand. When I said I should probably head home I knew a kiss was coming...and boy was it awkward! We were both nervous, but mostly Josh, and it was one second and then Josh walked off to his own car! I drove back to campus and thought could I really date someone who gets so nervous and barely wants to kiss me?! 

When we met for our second date at a restaurant, Josh walked right up and kissed me directly. I felt like I had been swept off my feet and I couldn't wait for what lay ahead. 

We had a few more dates where we discussed difficult questions and what we wanted for the future and he met all of my friends. I couldn't believe that there was a guy who was willing to have these conversations with me and meet my crazy friends. 

I knew I had to give this a try...and well the rest is history! 

Josh and I knew we wanted to get married. He will tell you he knew right away. I will tell you I knew when Josh willingly wanted to do devotions together as a couple (and we actually started them). After this, I realized I had never felt so much love in a relationship. Someone was putting in the same amount of effort I was and showing me love. 

I had started to figure out that a proposal was coming. My mom had started to ask more direct questions so I knew that they must have started to talk about a possible date and blessing. There were things my best friend, Bekah, had said or that Josh said and I knew something was up! I started to get paranoid anytime Josh and I hung out and I was getting upset with myself for trying to figure it out! 

Then one day Josh made a big deal of asking if I wanted to go to dinner in a couple weeks. The way he was talking I figured that had to be when the proposal would be! Then a few days later he asked if I would want to go to the movie Thor. I was so disappointed because I thought that was going to be the night to find out we were going to a movie...I said yes and I was determined to have a fun time regardless. I went into that night and dressed up like usual and tried not to get my hopes up but then...

We were walking towards the restaurant (before the "movie") and then Josh took a turn a different way. I asked, "Isn't the restaurant over there?" and he responded with, "Yes, but I want to take you somewhere else first." I didn't think a whole lot of it until he said, "I want to take you to where we first met" and I realized we were walking towards the coffee shop and tears immediately came to my eyes. He said we weren't actually going to see Thor because he had something else in mind. 

We were coming up to the coffee shop and Josh got down on one knee. He said something like, "I knew pretty much right away" and I was so caught up in emotion that I didn't really hear anything else until "Will you marry me?" I, of course, said yes while crying! I had so many tears in my eyes that I couldn't even focus on the ring until later! 

For the rest of the night, we enjoyed dinner, dessert, and then celebrating with his family. We called lots of family and friends only to hear how much they had been involved and knew the plan! I found out that Josh had the ring since July and had started planning! It was an absolute whirlwind! My best friend and maid of honor even left a little present for me to open once it was official. It was so exciting to see "Future Mrs. Buske" on the card! 

We are enjoying being engaged and starting the wedding planning process, but I cannot wait to marry this man and be his wife. Praise God from whom all blessings flow! 

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Genesis 2:24